Bohemian Cinema By Jonathan Pacheco

Trailer Park: Family Fantasy Films

Tags: Trailer Park, Fantasy, Family

Ah, it’s finally starting to hit us: the swarm of films attempting to ride the Chronicles of Narnia coattails. It seems that every studio is trying to put out its own Family Fantasy Film (FFF) containing witches and creatures and unsuspecting characters thrown into a world that overwhelms them. The sleeper Bridge to Terabithia beat out all these competitors earlier this year in the FFF race; that won’t mean anything to the casual kid, but the discerning moviegoer will wisely have this in mind.

I saw trailers for many of these films when I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and the first thing I thought was, “These movies aren’t like Harry Potter.” And they’re not, but you put the word “fantasy” in there and all of a sudden they’ve become lumped together. Whatever.

So let’s take a look at the rush of FFFs that you’ll soon have to suffer through because there’s nothing else playing that’s appropriate for your kids (let me say right now, most of these films claim to be adaptations of “classic books,” all of which I have never read).

Click each image to view the trailer.

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Enchanted

You know, for the first seconds of the trailer, this film had me. I saw classic 2D animation that looked clean and vibrant and I was excited. Then the film revealed itself: live action versions of cartoon characters stuck in NYC. Groan. This is the typical big-budget Disney production that’ll rake in kids like it’s no one’s business; it’s got pretty faces, vibrant colors, dragons, and fairy tale creatures. Despite the occasional funny moment, this film will use old tricks and old jokes over and over and over. Kids won’t care, but everyone else will.

Prediction: Big money, little originality.

The Golden Compass

Looks to me like the biggest Narnia fan out of the whole lot. Pretty good effects, talking animals, and a big quest. It’s not as appealing or beloved as the C.S. Lewis epic, but I think this one has the potential to have some good theatrical success as well as critical. It has some energy and an innocence that will appeal to the old-timers, for sure.

Prediction: It won’t be a classic, but it’ll be a surprisingly decent film. I wouldn’t mind seeing it.

The Seeker: the Dark is Rising

This trailer pretty much went through the entire movie for me, and that’s a major turn-off. With as much that’s packed into the trailer, I begin to wonder what kind of running time this movie is going to have. My guess is that it’ll be way too long for kids to sit through, but the film is too “kiddy” for anyone older to even care. There are some good ideas here (the kid tossing people like ragdolls was kind of hot), but there’s a vibe that I’m getting from the movie, and it’s telling me that the film is taking itself way too seriously for its own good. Plus, Alexander Ludwig just feels like the poor man’s Josh Hutcherson (who at least has charisma).

Prediction: The film will be too devoted to its source material. This will turn off many and severely limit its box office potential, but I actually have a feeling that underneath is a pretty decent, thoughtful fantasy film.

The Spiderwick Chronicles

I’m a little stumped on this one. I think this one is darker than many of the others on the list, and it feels smarter, too. It definitely won’t be as popular as the other fantasy films, and it’ll come out later than the others as well, which will leave it fending for itself. It doesn’t look like it’ll have a huge release, so a quick box office death seems imminent, which I think will be a shame.

Prediction: Critics will praise Spiderwick for being a pretty good little film with imagination and perception. Unfortunately, no one’s going to see this one.

Stardust

Claire Danes, Robert De Niro, Ricky Gervais, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ian McKellen, Sienna Miller, Rupert Everett, and Peter O’Toole; geez, with a cast like that, you would think your film looked a little more promising than this one. Stardust looks uncomfortable from the get-go, and it doesn’t seem to get better. Claire Danes is stiff, De Niro is out of place, and Pfeiffer is…well, I don’t know. Yet, with big names and faces like that, and with big effects and evil witches, I have a feeling that this film will attract kids and their parents; it won’t make Shrek money, but it will be a success.

Prediction: Stardust will be one of the two most successful films on this list because little kids think it looks cool and their parents like Pfeiffer, De Niro, and Danes. The movie itself won’t be atrocious, but that’s not saying much.

The Water Horse: The Legend of the Deep

This trailer always showed up first, and it’s the least like Narnia of all these films, but being a story about a kid who discovers an egg that would eventually hatch the Loch Ness Monster, I think this still fits as “fantasy.” The trailer was a little choppy, very cheesy, and a tad amateurish, and I fear the film may end up being pretty much the same. There are a few good actors in this, but it feels like it’ll be a little too sweet and too slapstick in its fervent quest to please children. No one will get the chance to do anything special with this one.

Prediction: Mild approval from critics but very, very limited commercial success. As a film, it’ll be just “okay.”